I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
