I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize