Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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