you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
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The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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