You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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