You were right. It hurts to walk today.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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