I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
