I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
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I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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