Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
