so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
