I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
