Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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