I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
