the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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