the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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