I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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