Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
