Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie