Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

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  (313): I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son. http://tfl.nu/7jxb
  Replies (13) Good night (779) Bad night (2547)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.

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  (843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up. http://tfl.nu/l18e
  Replies (13) Good night (750) Bad night (4583)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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  (757): It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends. http://tfl.nu/y207
  Replies (21) Good night (1072) Bad night (6043)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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  (647): im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old. http://tfl.nu/1v3o
  Replies (20) Good night (728) Bad night (3020)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  sarcasm needs its own font

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  (440): sarcasm needs its own font http://tfl.nu/5kc7
  Replies (55) Good night (8560) Bad night (995)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

  (312): View more from Illinois

  And maybe a life coach?

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  (303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc
  Replies (2) Good night (2237) Bad night (755)
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  (310): View more from California

  True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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  (310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag
  Replies (6) Good night (1179) Bad night (1764)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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  (630): We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/kk2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1336) Bad night (543)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

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  (404): I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/4d1q
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (450)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think

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  (410): That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think http://tfl.nu/xmfy
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (491)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

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  (616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (348)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly

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  (907): Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly http://tfl.nu/1xxm
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (365)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night

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  (843): If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night http://tfl.nu/kgui
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (643)
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  (510): View more from California

  But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.

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  (510): But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming. http://tfl.nu/5mbe
  Replies (2) Good night (1225) Bad night (266)
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  (510): View more from California

  all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth

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  (510): all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth http://tfl.nu/ugnh
  Replies (3) Good night (148) Bad night (305)

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