He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol