He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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