Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
