I didn't shave. On purpose
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
