I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
