Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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