Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize