Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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