we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
