I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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