He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
