she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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