Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
