He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
