Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
