She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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