No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
