She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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