Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
