I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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