Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
