Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry wolf421 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open

Fav 18 5136 1038
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

Fav 22 8682 1102
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

Fav 24 1010 3989
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

Fav 13 4889 1325
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

Fav 28 5625 1901
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

Fav 4 5037 1302
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

(648): View more from

Since when is drunk an angle?

Fav 12 7583 1290
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me

Fav 2 774 409
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels

Fav 0 66 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT