How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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