I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize