Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
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