You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
