We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.