I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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