i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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