I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.