ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am never drinking with the goths again.