There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
