U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
