You can't special order awesome
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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