I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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