i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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