whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
