so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
