This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
