His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
