Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
