summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.